how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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