He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
True strength comes from lack of pants
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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