apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
