In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
