We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
