i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
