My balls are so social today.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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