I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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