Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
