just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
