I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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