did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
