Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
