What a fucking waste of an outfit
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
