I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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