This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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