My room smells like vodka and shame
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
