Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
