i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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