Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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