i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
