do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
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