I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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