Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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