worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
