some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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