My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
