I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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