My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
