I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
