Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
