____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
