her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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