I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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