I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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