Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
