New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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