Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He? As in you personified your dick?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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