Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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