i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
