Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
