Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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