Those balls look pretty dangerous.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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