hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
