im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
