I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
