what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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