its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
