i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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