Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
