No stitches, just platelets and will power
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We left the knife in your bed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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