Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
