Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
