I showed him my bush... on skype.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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