now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize