so let's talk penis.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
