Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
