what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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