Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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