sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
