did you get engaged???
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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