Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
