but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
