No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
