trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
