pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
