I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
