it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize