Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Can Purell be used as lube?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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